时间不够

知识的冲击很大
恍然大悟很有趣
就连打电话给住诊医生都好玩多了
怪了，我不怕他们了
原因是我不再是那个求助的一方
每个个案，就是一个迷
有些几秒看出答案，有些摸不着头脑
人体太妙了！比人妙得多
探讨一些肉眼看不见的事
对生命会有另一种层次的领悟


找回学习的乐趣，即使感觉时间不够，也不是负面的情绪，而是喜悦的
生命可以长一点吗？
我要继续学习。

2014年的尾声

还有不到四个小时，就得和2014年告别。
话说2014，对马来西亚来说是悲痛的一年。马航两架飞机罹难，前几天亚航也出事。而且还水患肆虐。我母校也淹水了。
从来我就认为人生是无常的，天灾人祸是难免的。但厄运接二连三也未免太令人痛心。同时也必须警惕自己，做自己想做的事，爱身边的人，对自己好一点。
我从来没有为自己设下新年resolution， 因为计划永远赶不上变化，随机随缘就好。
期望2015会是顺利的一年。为了training我得搬迁到乡下小镇去工作，在一个人生地不熟的地方自己生活。我总告诉自己，没关系，很多事是冥冥中注定。就像当初命运把我放在Eastern那样，才成就了今天的我。
愿大家平安健康快乐。

圣诞快乐

第一次公共假期肯定有我份。 赖在家听周杰伦，收拾一下屋，点我的香熏， 简单无聊也可以很写意。
或许应该读书。。。
看看吧。。。嘻嘻
圣诞节快乐。
祝大家平安健康。

态度

笑容
是免费的
而且是用之不竭的
为什么省着？
平和
可以让身边的人心情也平和
为什么要对别人呼喝责备？
再厉害再聪明
没有EQ
人缘不好
说难听，有天落难了，别人也只会说活该。
人生不如意事多得是，
每一件都耿耿于怀，埋怨
然后把气发在别人身上
日子怎么过也不会开心吧？

她是个很好的借镜，
她是我绝对不要变成的那个人 :)

4 Weeks into Anatomical Pathology

I have not been studying so hard since medical school - need to brush up on general anatomy at the very least and study on cut up techniques and procedures.


I have not felt so junior/ignorance since third year medical school/clinical year - apart from knowing that I am not colour blind, looking at slides to me just means looking at meaningless colourful pictures with dots while others start babbling some alien languages

I start work at 7:30am every day willingly and stay back until 6pm everyday but do not feel terrible about it - I must be crazy liao


When the siao reg said I need to speed up when cutting because we still have many other specimens to go through - Instead of becoming anxious and scared, I choose to remind myself  my other reg who once told me to "keep calm", and the other reg who said "Don't try to live up to unrealistic expectation and allow others to rush you through a specimen because you got to know what you are doing before you get comfortable. You want to be able to sleep at night after cutting specimens."


I am also thankful to my siao reg. It's because of her, I learnt more in a short period of time. Sometimes I need stress to push me to do better.


As I left work one day feeling stressed out and useless, I saw a doctor at the car park, presumably a registrar of some sort, picking up her phone and asking about the details of patient who was being referred to her, using the wall as the vertical table and starting to write down stuff. I smiled and thought to myself, my day isn't that bad afterall.  

First Day at Work

I walked into the hospital WITHOUT my peach colour stethoscope hanging around my neck, my pen torch clipped on my lanyard, and my tendon hammer hidden in one of my pockets. And no pager. That felt awesome.


The head of department gave me a tour in the lab and introduced me to the staff, mostly scientists and technicians. First time in my life, I am going to work with non nurses. I was introduced as the "new new registrar"as I am fresh and I have zero experience in pathology. I think it would have been better if I was introduced as the "intern".


What's better? I have my own desk and microscope. Although technically, the desk belongs to the registrar who is currently on maternity leave. But thanks to her and her husband, I was offered this rotation and escaped orthopaedic :D (Gosh, I can't imagine myself holding a fat leg in ortho surgery...I will definitely faint from having postural hypotension)


Oh guess what's best? It's when the PA says "MET call...Ward xx..Bed xx...xx unit".
That was the moment! The moment that I was waiting for...
I think I am going to be excited about this for at least a week :D


Basically, I have just been tagging along the registrar and watching cut ups mainly. I joined the surgical pathology meeting and the slides showing sessions. I was quite amused when I saw helicobacter pylori under the microscope. Other than that, I have no idea what they were talking about... It will take time for things to make sense.


I had lunch, I actually sat down to have lunch for a whole 45 min. The reg managed to finish cutting up all the specimens and we left work on time at 5pm.


There will be a lot of after hour and weekend study, otherwise there is no way to pass the exams. I know I have to do this. If pathology can't interest me, nothing in medicine will.  

最后倒数

明天将是我的最后一个ED shift。
面临下星期开始新的工作环境，我抱着很多期望。因为，我把那儿看成是岸，把这里当成是火海。逃离是我的选择。
对岸适不适合我生存我不知道。
有点忐忑不安，但依然兴奋居多。
这三年是得过且过，没有目标，不必读书考试，没什么压力。
这样的生活就要结束了，有点不舍。
但总不能继续蹉跎吧！
得拿出想当年啃书的那把劲继续奋斗。
五年而已！三个考试而已！不要怕，不要怕！

Counting Down My Shifts

I have done all my night shifts
I have done all my weekends
I have 6 more shifts to go
Then I will enter a whole new world


I told people I am going to do pathology next
And their first response is always "Why?"
"Do you hate people?"
"You wont be talking to anyone then?"
"Why pathology? You will make a good physician..."


I tried really hard to think why I really want to do pathology...
I came up with various random reasons that have struck me at some point
Medicine these days is relying too much on investigation...no matter how great your clinical examination skill is, it is really just a show. Are you able to convince yourself not to order that blood test or imaging if they are readily available? No. All those CT brains for the old patients with a fall with no focal neurology. All those troponins for ladies and gentlemen boys and girls with chest pain. All those VQ scan/ CTPA for someone who has chest pain with the minor-est risk factors for PE following negative troponins. All those vasculitic screens, autoimmune screens for people with no real signs or symptoms...


Medicine these days deal with too much "holistic medicine" crap... whatever... Sir, I only feel like fixing your broken bone, can I leave your depression to someone else? Maám, we are done with the medical care for your mother, she needs to go home today, I don't care if the aircond at her home is functioning or not... I know I wont make a good physician.


I cannot present cases the way physicians like me to present. I tried to fit in but I don't belong. I just want to tell you everything I know about the patient they way I want to.


I like people in general, but not to the extent of dealing with people's psychosocial problems and fighting with various departments and parties every day.

I like to sleep at night and work during the day. Shift works just make me feel sick. I hate being on call. The ringtone just gives me recurrent palpitations. I think I wont last long if I have to be always on call.


And of course I would choose the colourful pathology over the black and white radiology :)

Pathology here I come

I will embark on this journey
At least 5 years of training
To become an anatomical pathologist!

Can't believe,
In a bit less than 2 months time,
I actually DON'T need to see patient anymore! But only a small piece of them.

It's true that I will miss all those pleasantly confused elderly patients,
The specimen won't thank me for diagnosing them,
The owner of the piece of tissue won't even know I exist,


But I still think it will be awesome to JUST deal with diseases :D
And understand things under the microscope that MOST doctors don't have any idea what we are talking about :P

别了 USM 368

陪了我们六年多的USM368，完成了它毕生的使命

救护人员拍下的车祸现场

非常幸运的丝毫无损，顺手救了我们车里的其中一只龟仔，龟仔右脸烧伤了

车子返魂乏术，当掉了。

捡回了性命，也捡回了车内的物件，它们现在无家可归。

庆幸的，人没事就好。其他的车主也没受伤。
车子毁了可以买新的，生命却没有take 2。

以前偶尔听闻医生夜班下班回家发生意外，从来没有人会想过这件事会发生在自己或身边的人身上。很多上夜班或轮班性质的工作也同样带这这个风险，一个没有在工作和约上表明的风险。上班累了只想赶紧回家洗澡睡觉，通常很难说服自己先睡一会再回家。

这，算是给生命上了一堂宝贵的课。
还是活在当下好好珍惜最好。
大家请小心驾驶。

101 Ways of Taking Oral Contraceptive Pills

1) On your first day of period, start taking it on the Monday and follow the arrows to finish the packet. (Oh...what if my first day of period is not on a Monday?)

2) Start with the sugar pills...finish them then continue taking the active pills (Seriously...did you study?)

3) (Randomly, vaguely point to a section of the pill packet) start here and follow the arrows...it's simple...

4) (Look at the packet for very long, looked puzzled like never see an OCP packet)....Start here (the sugar pill)...err..no..sorry...start here (active pill)

5) My favourite one - If you have trouble swallowing tablets...you can take with water I guess.

Dear didi and meimei, I am glad that this is just an exam :) Go home and study harder ya!

A Random Video that I Came Across - Cute Dad Lip Syncs the Daughter

It's a cute video showing the dad lip syncs the daughter's tantrum.
It really shows how well the dad knows the daughter and can even tell what she's going to say.

苦中作乐...高招
Thumbs up for daddy :)

Oh they have something in common

Pikachu

Minion

Carue

 

They are so cute!

And they are yellow!

惊喜

屋后的空地， 立着几棵矮树，因为正是冬天，无花无叶。

旧屋主没说那是什么树，我们倒觉得花草树木很麻烦，打算有日把它们给砍了。

墨尔本这几天阴天吹大风，昨天好不容易有阳光，往后院一望，惊觉那是两棵白色的樱花。我说舍不得砍了。

好强啊！有些地方树都倒了，这数天的强风并没有把樱花吹落满地。

同时惊觉春天的脚步已降临，岁月不留人啊！

今年达成了买房子的愿望。还有下定了决心不再往Physician Training走下去。我要一个我要的一周五天，朝九晚五，没有oncall, 没有太多医院人际政治而又不离开医科的生活。决定了走幕后读病理科。幕前的大风大浪就留给真正有心有能力的人吧！

-值夜班后遗症，失眠与内分泌失调-ing-

The Bird On Our Shoulder

I wish I remember to ask the bird on my shoulder everyday,

"Is it the day?"

Then hopefully I will live every day like it is the last.

Then hopefully I will live every day full of courage to do what I want to do instead of what I should do.

民宿出现在...

TaDa...
Sauk新村

“容县七号是我Kamo的家，也是一间民宿。地点位于霹雳州江沙,一处被群山、湖泊、还有冰冷山泉水怀抱的小镇-新寿活村（Sauk）。

如果你來，你會看見一間最簡樸的老木屋。木屋周圍是向日葵圍欄，你必須選對花開的季節，才能看見黃色花海。如果你來，請不要帶著城市的喧囂而來，不要帶著生活的壓力而來。你來到這裡必須大叻叻，在冰涼的石灰地上隨意坐著、躺下，你可以選擇和任何人聊天，或者只是靜靜發呆。

容縣七號。霹靂新壽活新村。容許孩子奔跑，享受陽光、風、夢想和靜謐的地方。”

 

http://kamohome.wordpress.com/category/home/

 

还记得五六年前，我的老姐提议说不如把老祖屋变成民宿，我嗤之以鼻说哪会有人要来住。看来我错了。

这间民宿就是证据。

虽然我不认识屋主，但我无疑钦佩他的热忱。

希望容县七号可以为新寿活村带来不一样的气息，也让更多人认识这个美丽的地方。

 

 

Night

Just finished 4 days of overnight shifts in ED.

And I caught a cold.

Random thoughts:

It's ironic to see more daylight when doing night shifts.

It's fun to talk to sleepy consultant who is not grumpy.

It's hard to tell whether elderly patient is sleepy or drowsy.

可悲

一纸医科文凭等于我的童年加我的少年青春加泪水和血汗。

如果在家的话，老爸老妈应该会把它镶金吧！

有一天当我需要影印那纸时，

我才发现，

悲惨哪！

它竟然被我不知不觉地摆放到一个鸟不生蛋的地方。

因为面积的关系它进不了普通的文件夹。

它孤零零地躲在一盒纸箱和一叠老夫子漫画的下面，垫着底啊！

不忍心的我，

现在把它移到了那纸箱和那叠老夫子漫画的上面。

至少没那么可怜吧！

乌巴，就在今天

五月五终于到来，
鹿死谁手还不知。
从来没有看过国人那么同心，
没有听过年轻人那么兴致勃勃去投票。
今天，
大家都为手指头染上色而感到光荣。
无论谁家胜出，
但愿家园平安。

我在政府部门的日子

现在这份工就像在打政府工。
可以等的事继续等，反正到最后会完成就是了。
不可以等的，就再等一会儿。
有紧急状态时可以忙个正头烟，
周末独担大梁时会忙个透不过气，
但除此之外，日子应该是平静的。