最后倒数

明天将是我的最后一个ED shift。
面临下星期开始新的工作环境，我抱着很多期望。因为，我把那儿看成是岸，把这里当成是火海。逃离是我的选择。
对岸适不适合我生存我不知道。
有点忐忑不安，但依然兴奋居多。
这三年是得过且过，没有目标，不必读书考试，没什么压力。
这样的生活就要结束了，有点不舍。
但总不能继续蹉跎吧！
得拿出想当年啃书的那把劲继续奋斗。
五年而已！三个考试而已！不要怕，不要怕！

Counting Down My Shifts

I have done all my night shifts
I have done all my weekends
I have 6 more shifts to go
Then I will enter a whole new world


I told people I am going to do pathology next
And their first response is always "Why?"
"Do you hate people?"
"You wont be talking to anyone then?"
"Why pathology? You will make a good physician..."


I tried really hard to think why I really want to do pathology...
I came up with various random reasons that have struck me at some point
Medicine these days is relying too much on investigation...no matter how great your clinical examination skill is, it is really just a show. Are you able to convince yourself not to order that blood test or imaging if they are readily available? No. All those CT brains for the old patients with a fall with no focal neurology. All those troponins for ladies and gentlemen boys and girls with chest pain. All those VQ scan/ CTPA for someone who has chest pain with the minor-est risk factors for PE following negative troponins. All those vasculitic screens, autoimmune screens for people with no real signs or symptoms...


Medicine these days deal with too much "holistic medicine" crap... whatever... Sir, I only feel like fixing your broken bone, can I leave your depression to someone else? Maám, we are done with the medical care for your mother, she needs to go home today, I don't care if the aircond at her home is functioning or not... I know I wont make a good physician.


I cannot present cases the way physicians like me to present. I tried to fit in but I don't belong. I just want to tell you everything I know about the patient they way I want to.


I like people in general, but not to the extent of dealing with people's psychosocial problems and fighting with various departments and parties every day.

I like to sleep at night and work during the day. Shift works just make me feel sick. I hate being on call. The ringtone just gives me recurrent palpitations. I think I wont last long if I have to be always on call.


And of course I would choose the colourful pathology over the black and white radiology :)